Last weekend, one of my best friends asked me, “Eleanor, do you think you are enough?” I answered, “Honestly? No.”
She and our other dear friend were aghast, but I didn’t want to pretend to be more confident than I felt in that moment. I wanted to be honest that yes, sometimes I struggle with the feeling that I am not “enough” for the good things I want to be, do and have in my life. Like a chronic physical injury that must be taken care of daily, this insecurity is something I have been aware of for a long time and I tend daily to its healing.
My friend said, “What would make you feel enough?” I answered, “If I had no imperfections,” knowing full well the impossibility of such a state. She then replied, “Would you like a work of art if it had no imperfections?” I immediately answered, “No,” and in that simple instant, I began to understand myself as a work of art which is MORE beautiful and interesting – not less – BECAUSE of my imperfections.
What my friend did for me on her front porch in Atlanta is what we do for each other each week in the Women’s Circle. It is a safe space to admit our fears, our insecurities and our perceived imperfections. We are not lesser women for having them; we are human.
In return for our courageous transparency, we receive loving reflection back from other women who see our “flaws” as part of our beauty and help us develop practices to transform the way we hold them and the hold they have on our lives.
A few weeks ago I went to church for the first time in years. The Rev. Dana Corsello delivered a really moving sermon. She was talking about Jesus returning to his disciples in flesh and blood with his wounds visible. She spoke of the incredible vulnerability, humility and generosity of His saying, and our saying to each other, “Hi, these are my wounds, tell me yours.”
The Women’s Circle is a space to let down the façade of perfection, reveal our wounds, and receive love, acceptance and healing practices for who we are, as we are, today.
