I confess… I didn’t get a Christmas tree. I intended to on Saturday, but got snowed in. So instead, I wrapped lights around my ZZ plant (Zamioculcas Zamiifolia to be exact!) The lights are my favorite part anyway. I love Christmas; I love Christmas trees; and I love all of my ornaments and each of their stories, yet something in me is feeling drawn to a more simple expression this year.
I want to feel what’s underneath the tinsel of Christmas. The quieter, more contemplative side. I don’t have children of my own yet, so it’s easier to be outside the rush of those who are anxious to “do Santa” for their little ones and to do it perfectly.
When I hear people totally stressed about the holiday, I have to check myself. Where am I rushing to “do something” and do it “right” – something that is meant to be so fun and beautiful? My life! I’ve constructed such a huge tree decorated with all my hopes and dreams and strewn with all my regrets, mistakes, successes and gifts. Constantly trying to avoid doing something wrong and causing the whole thing to come crashing down.
So what am I without all my ornamentation? Without the layered on tinsel of being this, becoming that, giving this, and wanting that? What’s left at the core? What is it that the light of my eyes illuminates?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sparkly earrings, lip gloss and world-saving aspirations yet only after being sure of what’s underneath. What’s real about me?
What’s real about you? Who are you underneath your tinsel? I want to know you. Not the self-critical you who is always trying to do it better or perfectly. I want to know the pure, flawed, adorable you.
In that place, there is no worry about the tree crashing. There is no care of whether the neighbors have a bigger Santa in the yard. There’s just us. And love.
Unadorned. Lit up from the inside.
