I had such fun last Sunday visiting the newly reopened and expanded Virginia Museum of Fine Arts (VMFA). Being in that magnificent space, experiencing excitingly new art and sacred ancient works, I understood the Museum’s ad campaign “It’s Your Art” and I was moved. It is indeed a people’s museum.
It was such a different crowd and vibe – down-to-earth while also elegant – from what I’ve felt in some of our country’s more well-heeled museums. There were young people, old people, and families. There were children everywhere looking closely at art, talking about art, and laughing innocently about the pieces that made them uncomfortable. Best of all – there was no shushing going on!
Peeking into the third-floor restaurant, I was welcomed in by the maître d’, who informed me, “It’s your art” despite my shorts and t-shirt. Some people were in their Sunday finest; most were casually dressed like me, as if coming to the Museum were as common as going for a walk. And such a nice walk it is! The redesigned grounds are gorgeous and welcoming. Granted, I live just 3 blocks away, so I’m particularly fond of this beautiful new building in my neighborhood. Or rather, I am in her neighborhood, as she is definitely the Grand Dame sitting effortlessly and elegantly among row houses and magnolia trees.
Admission to the VMFA is free – always. I believe this is the very reason it feels like a museum for all of us. I was so proud of the Commonwealth of Virginia for investing in a museum for her citizens.
Years ago, I worked for the National Endowment for the Arts when we, the United States, were supporting visual artists, choreographers, theaters, dance companies, museums, arts education, and grassroots art in communities all across the country (at a mere 35 cents per taxpayer, per year.) It was an exciting, thriving agency at that time, with passionate, dedicated employees and volunteers. I worked in the dance program where I witnessed ballet and modern dance legends consider grants for new commissions, and I sat in on vibrant discussions on folk art, painting, American musical theater, and more.
Then the simmering culture wars heated to a fury. Controversy over works by Robert Mapplethorpe and Andres Serrano led to the forced resignation of then-NEA Chairman John Frohnmayer. I’ll never forget his gathering the agency staff for an emergency meeting, at which he sang “Simple Gifts” as his farewell. In the years following, our nation’s support for the arts was severely reduced. I’m grateful that the NEA’s budget allocation is on its way up again. I believe in private citizens supporting our national culture, but I also believe it is critical for our country’s heart and psyche that our government does so as well.
I’d like to say thank you to the corporate and citizen donors who made the VMFA’s fabulous new building and campus renovation possible. Thank you to those who have contributed collections and dollars for the Museum to acquire treasures for all of us to appreciate. You’ve inspired me to do the same. And thank you most of all to the Commonwealth of Virginia for believing culture is valuable and essential for her people.
Art for the People
May 27, 2010Being Human
May 17, 2010During an email discussion about the latest in a string of horrific attacks on children in China, my family asked me, as they do after nearly every tragedy, “So Nerd, where is God?” (I’m disclosing my family nickname here because it requires an appropriate dose of humility when I am asked to give my opinion on such matters.) Luckily for me, one of my sisters took the lead on trying to answer this most difficult question, she said:
“God wants you to take responsibility for your own actions. He may have created the universe, but he is not going to save you (over some other poor soul) if you are in danger. He (?) created the force of Nature, and the ways of Nature cause these awful things to happen… On the flip side, many, many wonderful things are happening at the exact same time as the awful ones. Good WILL prevail as Good is stronger than evil and therefore will survive.”
Thomas Keating expressed a similar sentiment in The Human Condition:
“God invites us to take responsibility for being human and to open ourselves to the unconscious damage that is influencing our decisions and relationships.”
It seems to me that we are given a mind, body, heart, and spirit to do with as we wish – to tend with care and effort so that we may use ourselves for good. Or not.
Like my sister, I believe there exists more good than evil in the world and in the majority of humans. I often forget to acknowledge the good, though. Especially when facing a challenging situation, I don’t give good its due credit for my cozy apartment, my health, a felt sense of God, cute pillows on my couch, plenty of food, iced green tea, an amazing church which asks so little for all it gives, the sound of birds, a strong and kind boyfriend, a loving family that has experienced relatively few tragedies, enough money to pay my bills… the list goes on.
I believe taking responsibility for being human includes opening to and respecting the range of what it means to be human. The whole range – good, bad and in between. A favorite priest once suggested that I, ”feel it all, welcome it all and let it all go.”
Within each person and each spiritual tradition, good and bad are subjective. So how do we all figure out how to be with one another? Whose code (and which interpretation of that code) are we following? And how do we know whether our well-intentioned contributions will be received as we hope? I’m not sure, but perhaps we need to expand our “good” portfolio to allow for different perspectives while being true to ourselves and our values.
It’s an individual journey – this moment-to-moment decision-making. Serve my understanding of good or add fuel to the fire of evil? Which will I choose? Which will you? As the poet Mary Oliver asks in “The Summer Day”:
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
I look forward to finding out.
In the Name of God
May 2, 2010Hardly.
In this morning’s New York Times, I read an article about the “Lord’s Resistance Army” (LRA) and their recent activity in northern Uganda. Now, I ask you, what do you think an army named after the Lord does? Feed its country’s poorest people? Provide health care? Educate children so they may create a better life for themselves and their communities?
Well, apparently not. Instead, this self-proclaimed “Christian” militant group came upon a 23-year-old woman working in her field, told her she “talked too much,” and cut off her lips and right ear. This “army of the Lord” – raised by kidnapping children and, under threat of their own death, forcing them to kill – originally claimed to be guided by the Ten Commandments. No wonder we’re fighting an uphill battle to trust in religion, any religion, as a good and just thing.
A few paragraphs into the article, I realized why some people I know have stopped reading the newspaper. The front page can indeed be horrifying, but I feel it’s my duty to be aware of what is happening to my fellow man – whether it be on the Gulf Coast or halfway around the globe.
To counteract my news-induced state of depression, I went to yoga. In class, I thought, “What can I do in the name of God?” If I can’t stop this “Lord’s Army” from continuing its butchery, is there anything I can do to provide counter-balance to their evil?
I decided that starting small was better than nothing. So, I invoked God’s name in every upward-facing dog pose (of which there were many). In every forward bend, I silently said, “In the name of God.” And you know what? My heart opened, my body relaxed, and my exhalation lengthened – as if being connected to more than myself was my natural state.
While the Ugandan government, with U.S. support, pursues its own strategy for ending the LRA’s 20-year maraud, can extra devotion in my yoga practice make any difference for the young woman with gauze and tape where her lips used to be? I’m not sure.
Today’s passage in a meditation book of my late father’s reads: “You must be, before you can do… We must choose the good and keep choosing it, before we are ready to be used by God to accomplish anything worthwhile.”
I use yoga as a spiritual practice to work on the “be” part, so that ultimately I may do. Does a more open heart make a difference in the world? I think so. For me, being in a worthwhile state takes practice and intention. Likewise, doing good is a choice I must make again and again. Love just a little bit more than I would have. Exhale one second longer.
What can you do today in the name of God? Actually, what can you be?
All of us becoming ready to be used by God. What could the world look like then? I hope to find out.
What Our Hearts Know
April 26, 2010Like many people wanting a mate, I’ve made lists upon lists of attributes I desired in a partner. I created collages envisioning what he would look like, do for a living, drive (I admit my shallowness), wear (ditto), read and be. Mental constructs of my ideal guy. My visualization seemed to “work” – many times, the descriptions I outlined came to be. Years ago, I even met one of the men I had cut out of a magazine and pasted into a collage. Yet often what looked good on the outside was missing something crucial on the inside.
Several editions into my collage, a wise friend gave me great advice. “Create a collage about how you want your life to feel, rather than look, with or without a man.” I took her advice. That collage led me to move home to Virginia from San Francisco, and it lives on my wall today. When faced with decisions, I go to it as a reference point for my heart. It contains images that represent feelings of home, centeredness, sexiness, inspiration, fullness, love, joy, friendship, strength and devotion.
Yesterday, I felt all of that combined, as I snuggled against my man on a rainy Saturday, after a great yoga class and fun pedicure conversation with a good friend. Looking out my window at bright green trees, here was the feeling I’d been walking toward for a long, long time: pure, open-hearted contentment.
You see, I think I’ve become reasonably whole (with much earthly and heavenly assistance). During the years of wanting, and not experiencing, a relationship of length and depth, I practiced cultivating a sense of joy and contentment within myself (sometimes kicking and screaming along the way). If I wanted to live a full life – no matter what – I had no other choice.
It is upon that foundation of love for myself, my winding path, and God, that I now find myself experiencing love for and from someone else.
There is a line from an Eva Cassidy song that describes the mechanism by which I recognize this relationship as deeply good: ‘Cause I know you by heart. Sure, my guy is amazing on paper; he’s handsome, smart, funny, directed, strong, kind, does good in the world, and all sorts of other things that have appeared on my lists. However, it is the feeling in my heart when I am with him that is startlingly different from the past.
I feel authentic, happy, seen, honored, adored, admiring, in love, and grateful. My breath is deep and full in my belly; my body is completely relaxed; and a mighty flower opens in the center of my heart. I believe this is how God intends for me to feel.
Last night, looking at my boyfriend while he studied for exams, I heard the words of a favorite Clay Walker song:
All I know is what I see when I look at you.
And all I see is what I’m feeling down inside.
And all I’m feeling is the feeling that I finally got it right.
I finally learned that it is the feeling – not the list – that makes something right.
What is your heart telling you? I’d love to know.
The Energy Between Us
April 18, 2010A young woman recently told me she believes God is the energy between two people. Such wisdom and awareness! I appreciated the reminder that I must take responsibility for the energy I give to another.
It isn’t easy. I quite regularly catch myself holding back or feeling competitive when interacting with someone new, as if the person across from me must prove herself trustworthy, before I will “love my neighbor as myself.”
The instruction, “So glorify God in your body,” (1 Corinthians 6:20) helps me in my quest to remain open-hearted in my interactions. When I allow God to course through my whole being – heart, mind, strength, and soul – I am much more able to extend “God-like” energy to others.
The yogi Paramahansa Yogananda writes in his mind-opening book, The Yoga of Jesus, “When one actually perceives the Divine Presence in his own soul, he is inspired with love for his neighbor – Jew and Christian, Muslim and Hindu – in the consciousness that one’s true Self and the Selves of all others are equally soul-reflections of the one infinitely lovable God.” (pg. 99)
Can I recognize God in another? Would I even try to see God in my enemy? What kind of energy would I create with her if I did? I find it hard enough to be conscious about my energy with those I love – to love them as completely as I would like to love myself. Therein lies the problem. If I love myself conditionally, I will love others the same way. Similarly, the judgment I feel toward others often reflects hostility within me toward myself.
In interpreting the gospel writer John’s account of Jesus speaking to a Samaritan woman (which a Jewish man at the time would not have done), contemplative priest Cynthia Bourgeault illustrates beautifully what can happen when two people recognize each other as Divine:
“Something he sees in her gives him the confidence to be so nakedly vulnerable; and something she sees in him gives her the confidence to follow his lead, to go higher and higher and deeper and deeper in herself, knowing far beyond what she could know from ordinary knowingness, knowing fully in the immediacy of her own heart. This quality of awareness is not something that comes from outside the moment. Rather, it grows up in the moment itself through the quality and energy of the heart connection.” (The Wisdom Jesus, pg. 11)
May we all give to each other and experience that kind of God energy.
Tell the truth about your life
April 14, 2010“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? / The world would split open.” – Muriel Rukeyser
Peace
April 5, 2010Of all the devotion, betrayal, strength, fallibility, sadness, and glory I heard and read about during Holy Week, the line that moved me the most was this: “Peace is my last gift to you, my own peace I now leave with you; peace which the world cannot give, I give to you.” (The Book of Common Prayer)
I’ve written often about doubt and uncertainty on this winding path of mine. It is challenging, at times, to feel lasting peace about earthly matters such as money, love, work, health insurance, family misunderstandings, and social injustice. Yet, in the midst of all or any of those, I’ve come to recognize the kind of peace that is a gift from God – “peace which the world cannot give.”
This peace I feel in my body. When the core of me is open, breathing, and calm, my mind feels safe to follow suit. In this state, I trust the peace of the certainty I feel – certainty that it all means something and God is there for me to lean on. It is the deep peace of forgiveness after confessing “things done and left undone.” It is the peace of saying, “Yes, I do believe in this mystery that ‘passes all understanding.’”
When watching and participating in Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services last week, I had to acknowledge that I believe in what this sacred practice represents. Seeing my clergy dressed in black with their backs turned to the congregation as they prayed was incredibly moving for me. I believe in the underlying story. So I say the words; I sing; I kneel; I eat the spiritual food. On Easter, it sank in deeper.
The judgmental, exclusionary, violent, sexist, neighbor-against-neighbor interpretations of Christianity have made me wary of Christianity as a whole. I’m grateful now to be learning a profoundly different take on what Jesus was teaching and to have found an understanding of God’s kingdom that I want to be a part of.
My mind still asks, “Am I for real? Is this devotion to and worship of God coming from my heart or my head?” I trust my body when she replies, “Yes. This is real for me. I feel this deeply. It has integrity.” Writing about and saying “Jesus” out loud is, at times, uncomfortable for me, yet being with him in private always feels natural. When I meditate, I invite him to sit with me. He offers his hands. I take them. This is complete peace for me.
What brings you peace? If you’d like to share your own practice, please do so.
Using Our Divine Might
March 29, 2010“They shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees and no one shall make them afraid.” Micah 4:4
A few days ago, my sweet 13-year-old niece wrote me that she wants to change the world for women and girls. Specifically, she intends to stop rape and sexual trafficking. I’m glad she’s on the case: recently I read of the horrific rape of girls, some just two or four years old, in post-earthquake Haiti.
“…And no one shall make them afraid.” It’s too late; someone has already made these girls afraid.
My niece asked for my help in creating her world-saving plan. In awe of her commitment and humbled by her request, I put what I’ve learned as a Girl Action Team coach to work and suggested a few questions that can help her begin: What strengths can she bring to creating change? What are the personal assets she can draw upon to help her? How would she complete the Girls For a Change phrase, “This world needs me because…?”
They are powerful questions to explore: Why does this world need me? What does God need me to do and become while I’m here? As I grow and the stability of the world seems to change on a daily basis, asking God these questions and listening for answers is an ongoing practice.
Why does this world need you? What is God asking you to do for the sake of your own soul and for the care of your fellow man? What role are you to play in the healing and further development of the world?
Yesterday was Palm Sunday, commemorating the day that Jesus rode humbly into Jerusalem to shake up an unjust world order. Even before I had any spiritual understanding of Jesus, he was, and remains, my social justice hero. He was a man of courage, integrity, humble confidence, conviction and deep regard for the dignity of all human beings, especially those who have neither vine nor fig tree to sit under.
Of course, he and his work were infused by a power far greater than his mortal form. He was both man and God. My understanding is that we are too. No, we may not possess the level of enlightenment, selflessness and pure connection to the Divine that Jesus did, yet we are “made in the image of God.” We, too, have the power of God inside us and supporting us. We, too, are here to create a more just world. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Jesus was frustrated with his disciples for not realizing that they, also, were capable of doing what he did and dying for what they believed in. They had a choice, though – whether to acknowledge and use this power, or not.
From the beginning of humanity, the world has needed people – like Jesus, like my niece – who are willing and ready to create a far better place than one in which young girls are raped and tossed aside like trash. I believe God needs all of us to help Him and has equipped us with divine might to do so.
