I’ve spent a lot of time the past few years thinking about and practicing opening my heart. To others, to God, to possibility, within new relationships and old, during life on the upswing or in the middle of a downward spiral. It has required moment-to-moment awareness and perception of whether I am opening or closing. (and sometimes I am completely clueless to either!)
This week one of my teachers asked me, “Is your heart opening to you?” I could tell this was a novel concept by the lump in my throat, tears welling in my eyes and the light bulb going on in my head.
Such a profound and necessary gesture. Beginning all the good we want to be and do for others by gently opening to ourselves first. You can try it if you’d like. Simply breathe into the center of your heart and feel it softly, subtly opening, like your favorite flower, to yourself. The you that only you know.
For me, it is palpable and shifts me into a vulnerable place that is beautiful rather than scary. My shoulders relax, my chest exhales, my hips feel more grounded and I let go of efforting.
Recently, the entire New York Times Magazine was dedicated to the empowerment of women and girls and its necessity for a healthy world. (Thanks to the tireless Nicholas Kristof!!)
One Pakistani woman is quoted as saying “A woman should know her limits, and if not, then it is her husband’s right to beat her.” Acknowledging that I am no cultural expert, I will boldly say that this woman could benefit from a little heart opening. Obviously, and likely unconsciously, she doesn’t feel it for herself much less her daughter-in-law.
In my opinion, all the empowerment programs and policies on the planet won’t make a real, lasting difference for girls and women until we open to that inward feeling of tenderness towards ourselves. That, I believe, will change the world.
Posts Tagged ‘changing the world’
Opening to ourselves
September 2, 2009Showing up for Big Mama
July 27, 2009Who’s Big Mama you ask? On alternate days I call her God, Him, Shakti/Shiva, the Universe, a particularly spectacular sunset, the sweet sounds of a baby, my inner sense, and a whole host of other names.
I know how to show up for Big Mama on my yoga mat. I breathe deep in my belly. I practice opening my heart. And there she is inside me, part of me… ahhhh… together again.
Church however is a different beast. After a five year hiatus, I’m finding myself in a bit of a pickle every week. There is nothing I dislike more than taking a shower and wearing anything but my cozy pjs before noon on a Sunday. Does God care if I show up in wrinkled clothes with sleep in my eyes? I don’t think so.
I intentionally get up a little early so as to relish in the NYT Style Section with a hot coffee before I run out the door. No shower, but I do at least brush my hair, throw a clip in, add mascara, and mow down the 25mph drivers on Monument to make it there before the ushers really glare at me. (Man, they start on time at this place!)
I don’t believe everything I’m supposed to recite and I don’t understand the meaning of half the readings. I don’t even feel that church is the best place for me to connect to that all powerful force of love in the world – I get self conscious praying around all those people!
However, I like the act of showing up. I like ritual. I like people who believe in something enough to devote their lives to it. I like the prayers for peace and social justice. And most of all, I like seeing what makes its way inside me.
Each week is a stretch. A stretch to not judge the people who talk during the sermon (don’t they know that’s the best part?!) A stretch to not feel alone in this big community of old and young. A stretch to ground my life and my work in deeper meaning.
I think, I hope, that’s what God cares about. Not my messy hair.
We don’t talk about God in the Women’s Circle but we do show up. We show up for each other and for ourselves and to discover what’s underneath.
Move away from the desk
June 18, 2009I heard this quote today on a recording from the Skoll World Forum 2009:
“Nobody’s ever led a revolution from behind a desk.” - John Wood of Room to Read
I’ve been so inspired (and now a bit scared) this week by what’s happening in Iran. I need to move away from my desk.
Playing for Change
June 18, 2009I love the Playing For Change projects – creating peace through music. Listening to one of these instantly opens my heart, brings tears to my eyes, and brightens my day. I hope you enjoy…
“Salutations to that which I am capable of becoming”
April 25, 2009I would really love to do big things in the world. I want to spread Girls For A Change from Memphis to Harare, Portland to Bogota and Philly to the Swat Valley. I want to heal and prevent horrific injustices towards women around the world. I would love to squash the Taliban (though I admit I’m a bit afraid of getting acid thrown in my face.) I’d love to work for the Nike Foundation or for Obama’s new White House Council on Women and Girls. I want to go around the country and the world listening to the dreams, challenges and solutions that women and girls have for themselves, their families, their communities and their country and I want to help the Administration respond in visionary, change making ways. I want to remind every girl I meet to believe in herself, what she is capable of and how much the world needs her.
I’ve heard that our heroes are our heroes because they embody some aspect of ourselves whether we realize it or not. My current heroes include the kind, spiritual and principled President Jimmy Carter and his work with the Carter Center, the kickass, outspoken Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, wicked smart Rachel Maddow, and the coolest, most transparent First Lady to ever hit the planet! I’m not comparing myself (yet!) to these amazing peeps, however I think there is a theme amongst them – they are all courageous, original and hugely impactful in their own way. I would love to be the same.
One of my favorite yoga teachers in Richmond, Karen Hansen of Yoga Wabi Sabi, often ends class with the mantra “Om Namah Shivaya” which loosely translated means, “Salutations to that which I am capable of becoming.” Each week it reminds me that it might just be possible – this inkling and prayer I have of believing I could make an impact on the world for girls and women and thus, for everyone.
And… at the end of each world-saving day, I want to come home. I want to breathe. I want to feel who I am instead of letting my worries or my ego define me. I want to be there for my friends, my sisters, my mom, my man, my children, my God and my self – as Eleanor – stripped of all outer definitions. I want to feel my spirit in my body, to share myself with an open heart and to love with all I have.
