Eleanor Rouse

A few years ago, a saucy friend of mine sent a cross-continent, prospective boyfriend a prospective itinerary for his prospective visit to Richmond (none of which had remotely crossed his mind) with the subject line of “Yes! is a sexy answer.” He didn’t make it to Richmond, but they did spend a very fun, spur-of-the-moment weekend in DC. 
 
A hearty “Yes!” is sexy and decidedly receptive. It is a strongly felt sense -sometimes spontaneous, sometimes long contemplated - that comes from deep within. It’s important to recognize, and to let others know clearly, when we are open to receiving and when we are not. It is also essential to listen with our whole being for the “Yes” or “No” of another. I’ve learned the hard way that it isn’t sexy, healthy or respectful to give when the intended beneficiary is not open.   

Here is my favorite poem about “Yes!”:
 
God Says Yes To Me
 
I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don’t paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I’m telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

  - Kaylin Haught

That said, a “No” when kindly delivered can be equally as sexy and certainly as valuable. When we say ”No (thank you!)” to what and who is not right for us, we put a stake in the ground for ourselves and make space for our dreams. This strength inspires life to organize around our courage and clarity. Of course, it also takes a humble soul to receive and honor another’s “No.” 

What isn’t sexy (in my opinion) is mushy, unspoken, confusing, passive nothingness. Yuck! What if, in the poem above, God had said, “Uh, I don’t care, do whatever you want” or just blown off the poor poet by simply not responding?
 
Here’s your chance to practice your Yes’s and No’s…
 
My weekly email has evolved in recent months from a marketing tool to an intended e-offering of care, it is important to me and to its power to only give to those who want to receive. 

So if you are receiving it, I’m asking you to please take a moment to breathe low into your big Buddha belly and your luscious hips… breathing into that place of deepest knowing about what is right for you. When you feel a clear, strong, sexy “YES! I want it!” or “NO (thank you!) I don’t,” please let me know your truth (no explanation required.) 
 
I’ll honor your desire by adding you, keeping you on or taking you off the recipient list. 

Please don’t worry about offending me if you want off, my own sister gave me a big fat “NO!” this week (without the thank you.) After calling her just a few of my best bad names, I decided I won’t disown her after all. For encouraging you to discover and live what is most true for you is the point of this whole enterprise anyway. It’s my Yes! to You!